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Define the relationship?
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How did we meet?
New York, 2012. He had landed there first, the one American city European enough to ease a Frenchman in, and I was there from Massachusetts. We met at 1 Oak, and the night ended where good New York nights end: at Artichoke Pizza.
Where was our first date?
Beauty & Essex, on the Lower East Side. The reel below tells you exactly what he ordered. Artichoke Pizza, where the night we met had ended, became our classic.
Did we ever have “the talk”?
A little bit of both, honestly. In France couples often skip the American “so, are we exclusive?” conversation: you spend time together, and at some point you simply are together. We landed somewhere in the middle: a little of the French way, a little of the American one.
Choose your own adventure
Your First Dinner with French In-Laws
A choose-your-own-adventure. His parents, six decisions and one Brie you should not touch.
Start the adventureWhat was it like dating him?
He asked a lot of questions. Not small talk: real questions, and he listened to the answers. He was engaging and curious about everything, which is still the thing I notice first about him. For him, a question is a question: when he asks how your day was, he wants to know.
What was meeting his parents like?
Meeting his father terrified me. He did not talk much.
His mother was sweet. She brought me a gift, a keychain. She was a little judgy, but nice. If you are about to meet French parents yourself: expect la bise on arrival and on leaving, bring something for the host, and never bring chrysanthemums, which in France are for graves.
How did he propose?
In Paris, at night, in the streets near the Pont Alexandre III. The next day we were off to Venice, where he had booked Harry’s Bar and bought me a stunning dress for the occasion. It was a dream come true. Then back to Paris, engaged.
From French boyfriend to French husband
We married in 2018, at my mother’s house in Massachusetts, near the beach. New York, California and Florida came before New England, and so did Loulou, the cat. Three boys came after. Eventually the show came too.
If he is Parisian, ask which arrondissement he grew up in, then find the one that matches your neighborhood.
10 tips for dating a French man, from a French man
Elizabeth told you how it went. These are from the other side of the table: ten things worth knowing, from me. — Sacha
Don’t wait for “the talk”
We tend to think a kiss settles it. If you need it said out loud, ask. We will answer.
Answer our questions properly
When I ask how your day was, I want the actual answer. Small talk is not the point.
Know what to call us
Mon copain day to day, mon petit ami if you are being formal. Un copain alone is just a friend.
Master la bise
Cheek kisses, on arrival and on leaving, with everyone in the room. Two in most places; follow the other person’s lead.
Never arrive at our parents’ empty-handed
Flowers, chocolates or a good bottle. Never chrysanthemums: in France they are for graves.
Don’t read too much into a quiet father
Mine did not say much the first time he met Elizabeth. Reserved is not the same as unimpressed.
Eat later, and sit down
Dinner is around eight, at the table, and it takes its time. We notice the car dinners.
Disagree with us
An argument over dinner is a sign of interest, not trouble. We respect an opinion more than an easy yes.
Dress for the occasion, even small ones
For many of us getting dressed is a form of politeness. Mine started at seven, with my father.
Plan real holidays
We grew up with five weeks of paid leave. A long weekend is not, to us, a vacation.
Questions, answered
What are the best tips for dating a French man?
From Sacha, a French man: don’t wait for an exclusivity talk, answer his questions properly, learn what to call him (mon copain), master la bise, bring a gift for his parents (never chrysanthemums), eat later and at the table, disagree with him, dress for the occasion and plan real holidays.
Where did Elizabeth and Sacha meet?
In New York City in 2012, at 1 Oak, followed by pizza at Artichoke Pizza. Their first date was at Beauty & Essex.
Where did Sacha propose?
In Paris, at night, near the Pont Alexandre III, followed the next day by a trip to Venice and dinner at Harry’s Bar.
When did Elizabeth and Sacha get married?
In 2018, at Elizabeth’s mother’s house near the beach in Massachusetts.
What is the French word for boyfriend?
Mon copain is the everyday word. Mon petit ami is slightly more formal and mon mec is casual. Copain on its own also means friend.
Still wondering?
Ask my French husband.
A short ruling in a few seconds. Written by AI from our Journal, in his voice.
He judges America weekly on Instagram, and Le Bulletin collects the best of it.
Before you go
How French Is Your Husband?
Or your boyfriend. Eight questions to find out how French he really is.
