Your vote
Arrive on time or 15 minutes late?
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1. Arrive 10 to 15 minutes late
Never early. A few minutes late gives the host time to finish getting ready. It is called le quart d’heure de politesse, the polite quarter-hour.
2. Bring the right gift
Good chocolates, flowers, or a bottle of wine, but not a cheap one. Don’t expect your bottle to be opened that night; the host has usually chosen the wine for the meal already. Never bring chrysanthemums: in France they are the flowers of the cemetery and Toussaint. Skip perfume or anything personal unless you know the hosts well. More ideas in French hostess gifts.
3. Say bonjour properly
Two kisses on the cheek for friends, a handshake for people you have just met. Watch what the others do first. Here is how to do la bise.
Shoes: keep them on unless you see a pile by the door. At my parents’, shoes come off at the door and slippers go on. My mother keeps a pair for guests. More in do French people wear shoes in the house.
4. Say yes to the apéro, and pace yourself
The evening starts with a drink and something small to nibble. Accept it. Then come the starter, the main, the cheese and dessert. In my house the rule is simple: cheese after the main, before dessert, never as an appetizer.
At the table, bread goes straight on the tablecloth, and you tear it with your fingers. Taste everything, and compliment the cook. See the French cheese course, explained.
5. Don’t leave right after dessert
Stay for coffee and conversation; leaving right after dessert can look like you only came for the food. Thank your hosts, merci pour cette soirée, and send a message the next day.
Questions, answered
What should I bring to a French dinner party?
Good chocolates, flowers (never chrysanthemums) or a good bottle of wine.
What time should I arrive at a French dinner?
10 to 15 minutes after the time you were given. Never early.
Do I take my shoes off in a French home?
Only if you see that others have. Some families, like mine, keep slippers for guests.
Still wondering?
Ask my French husband.
A short ruling in a few seconds. Written by AI from our Journal, in his voice.
For more of our dinner-table verdicts, we’re on Instagram — and Le Bulletin gets field notes like this one.
Before you go
Could You Survive a French Dinner Party?
When to arrive, which flowers never to bring, and when to leave.
