Do French couples have “the talk”?
Often, no. The American habit of a conversation that settles it, the “so, are we exclusive?” moment, is not a French ritual. In France you go out, you keep seeing each other, you meet the friends, and at some point you are a couple. Nobody announces it.
We landed in the middle: a little of the French way, a little of the American one. The whole story, from 1 Oak to Artichoke Pizza, is in my French boyfriend. His own advice on the subject, from the ten tips at the end of that piece: if you need it said out loud, ask. He will answer.
Is dating in France different?
The first thing I noticed was the questions. He asked a lot of them, real ones, and he listened to the answers. Small talk is not the point for many French people; a question is a question. If he asks how your day was, he wants the actual answer.
The second thing was the group. In France a lot of early dating happens among friends, at a dinner or a long evening, rather than on a formal date for two. That means meeting his friends early, and doing la bise with every one of them, hello and goodbye.
Why do French couples argue at dinner?
Because disagreeing is a form of attention. In many French families an opinion defended at the table, about politics, cheese or the right way to cook an egg, is part of the meal. An easy yes is a little boring.
For an American this can sound like a fight. It usually is not. As he put it in his tips for dating a French man: an argument over dinner is a sign of interest, not trouble. We respect an opinion more than an easy yes.
What are French in-laws like?
Formal at first, warmer later, and very attentive to small things: what you bring, how you greet, whether you take a second helping. My first meeting with his father terrified me; he barely spoke. His mother was sweet, brought me a keychain and was a little judgy, but nice.
The practical guide, from what to bring to tu or vous, is in meeting your French mother-in-law.
Choose your own adventure
Your First Dinner with French In-Laws
A choose-your-own-adventure. His parents, six decisions and one Brie you should not touch.
Start the adventureHow is a French wedding different?
In France only the civil ceremony at the town hall, the mairie, makes you legally married, and it has to come before any religious one. Then there is the vin d’honneur for the wider circle, a dinner that can run until dawn, and a tower of choux, the croquembouche, instead of a cake.
We married in 2018 at my mother’s house near the beach in Massachusetts. The full comparison is in French vs American weddings.
Marriage, PACS or neither?
France has a middle option Americans do not: the PACS, a civil partnership created in 1999 and open to any two adults. It is signed at the town hall or with a notary, takes an afternoon, and gives couples most of the tax treatment of marriage. In 2024, 197,200 were signed, against about 251,000 marriages in 2025, according to INSEE.
Many French couples also simply live together, sometimes for decades, sometimes with children. Nobody asks when the wedding is.
Americans marry younger. The median age at a first marriage in the US was 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women in 2025, according to the Census Bureau.
Money, time and holidays
The biggest daily difference may be time. French law gives employees five weeks of paid leave a year, and most of them take it, often in one long block in summer. To him a long weekend is not a vacation. More in why everything closes in August in France.
Meals are the other one. Dinner around eight, at the table, without a screen, and lunch that is a real meal. You adjust, or you eat twice.
Raising kids between two cultures
We have three boys, and the French habits worth borrowing are mostly at the table: children eat what the adults eat, the afternoon snack is a real goûter at four, and bedtime is not a negotiation.
Our boys are not bilingual. I speak very little French, and English won. If you are planning otherwise, start early and be more disciplined than we were. Everything else is in French parenting.
Questions, answered
What is the biggest difference between French and American relationships?
Often “the talk”. French couples usually skip the explicit conversation about being exclusive: you keep seeing each other and at some point you are a couple. Many also treat a lively disagreement as a sign of interest rather than trouble.
Do French men say “I love you” early?
There is no rule, but “je t’aime” is a serious phrase in French and is not used lightly. Between friends and family the French say “je t’adore” or “bisous” instead.
What is a PACS in France?
A civil partnership created in 1999, open to any two adults and signed at the town hall or with a notary. It gives most of the tax treatment of marriage. 197,200 were signed in 2024, according to INSEE.
Do French couples get married?
Fewer than before, and later. France recorded about 251,000 marriages in 2025 (INSEE), and many couples sign a PACS or simply live together instead.
Is it hard to be married to a French man?
It depends on the man. Mine asks real questions and listens to the answers, which makes up for a great deal, including the butter.
Still wondering?
Ask my French husband.
A short ruling in a few seconds. Written by AI from our Journal, in his voice.
He judges America weekly on Instagram, and Le Bulletin collects the best of it.
Before you go
How French Is Your Husband?
Or your boyfriend. Eight questions to find out how French he really is.
